The Guys' Rules
At last
a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
Finally, the guys' side of the story.
We always hear "the rules" from the
female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note..these are all numbered
"1"FOR A REASON
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you
leaving it
down.
1. Sunday sports . It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers
to
almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want
help
solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a
Problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is
inadmissible
in an argument. In fact, all comments become null
and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret
girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two
ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we
meant the
other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us HOW you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do
it
yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you
have
to say
during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need
directions
and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say
"nothing,"
We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not
worth
the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an
answer
to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely
anything you wear is
fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what ! we're thinking about
unless
you are prepared to discuss such topics as
baseball, the
shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that?
It's
like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give
them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give
them a bigger laugh.
